Sunday, May 24, 2009

Jobert Sucaldito hospitalized after accident with cucumber

WARNING: R-18 content. Minors, don’t read further! :P

Showbiz talk show host Jobert Sucaldito is recovering at the Capitol Medical Center in Quezon City after a successful emergency surgery to remove a large piece of cucumber that got stuck in his rectum, according to reports.

Sucaldito, one of the hosts of ABS-CBN’s “The Buzz,” reportedly met with the accident Sunday night and was rushed to the hospital after complaining of “extreme pain” in his bottom.

X-rays subsequently revealed that a broken piece of cucumber, about five inches in length, had gotten lodged into the lower end of his large intestine.

It was not immediately clear how the cucumber got there.

The surgeons who operated on Sucaldito were tight-lipped and refused to discuss his case with media, citing doctor-patient confidentiality. Oddly enough, they all looked like they were trying vainly to keep from laughing and refused to look reporters in the eye.

Members of Sucaldito’s household who declined to be named said they recovered the other half of the cucumber, also five inches in length, in Sucaldito’s bedroom.

They said it had “bite marks” and was in a “soggy” state.

Besides the cucumber, they said they also found “a bottle of Johnson’s baby oil, pictures of scantily clad men, and lots of tissue paper.”

Reached by phone, Sucaldito said he is fine and will be discharged from hospital soon. He explained that it was all an accident.

Gumagawa kasi ako ng salad. Napaupo ako dun sa chair e meron palang pipino dun na patayo ang pusisyon. Basta, mabilis kasi ang mga pangyayari (I was making a salad. I sat on a chair but there was a cucumber there in an upright position. Everything just happened so fast)” he said.

In a related development, a group of vegan Filipinos is reportedly thinking of filing an abuse complaint against Sucaldito for allegedly molesting a harmless and defenseless vegetable.

source: Goodtimesmanila

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Bwahahaha! totoo ba to? naglalaro kasi ng gulay... amp!! wahahaha

Anonymous said...

hahaha, baka naman nangati lang pwet nya pinangkamot eh pipino -> delikado pala no?

Anonymous said...

Dapat ba nakahubad pag gumagawa ng salad? At bago na pala ingredients ngayon ng salad? hahahha..

idak1011 said...

Gumagawa daw ng salad, napaupo sa nakatayong pipino, sus para namang nung unang panahon pa tayo ipinanganak ginagawang engot ang mga tao...aminin na kasi kung ano ang milagro ng nabaling pipino...hahaha

Anonymous said...

Eating vegetables is not always safe, try to save your money so that you can afford to buy meat next time.

Anonymous said...

Atleast ay hindi pakwan, pinya, or langka ang nasa upuan ng mga oras na iyon.
Hahaha!

Pero anlufet ng puwet n'ya, dere-derecho lang pumasok, gan'un ba kadulas 'yun?
Hahaha!

Anonymous said...

sana sinamahan pa nya ng suka , asin, paminta ang pipino para kompleto rekado. haler, lokohin nya lelang nya. sinadya nyang ipasok un. tsk.

Anonymous said...

Naku jobert sana pumunta k nalang sa kwadra ng mga “KABAYO” para matisfied ka to the highest LEVEL!!! BwAahahahaHAHaha

Anonymous said...

totally 10 inches ang pipino ganoon kahaba, next upo na ang gagamitin nya. butio pang sabihin mo na ang totoo

Anonymous said...

nakakatuwa naman c jobert kung mkpag explain..kala nya siya nlng ang matalino and the rest ay mga mangmang na para di maintindihan kung ano ang ginawa nya sa kanyang sarili kasama ang pipinong yun..hahahaha..sarili mo hinahalay mo? ano yun? dahil may kaukulang parusa ang panghahalay idemanda mo ang sarili mo..hahahaha

Anonymous said...

WOW, GANONG KADALI NAPASOK YUNG CUCUMBER SA ANO NYA?! HAHAHAHA. . . GAGAWA LANG NG ALIBI PALYADO. SO IBIG SABIHIN HABANG GUMAGAWA SYA SA BEDROOM NYA NG SALAD EH WALA SYANG PANG-IBABA?! AND I CANT IMAGINE ANG LAKI NG BUTAS NG ANO PRA PASOK AGAD ANG PIPINO?! HAYAHAYYYY. . . BAT KC DI NALANG BUMAYAD NG MGA CALLBOY EH PINAGDISKITAHAN PA ANG WALANG MUANG NA PIPINO!

Anonymous said...

maka-un pa ta it pobre ro tinuea ngato(poor people could have eaten it). mahae kaya ro pepino.

Anonymous said...

sa mouth nilalagay ang pipino kinakain,hindi pambara sa wetpu.may LBM kaba?ingredients ba sa salad ang baby oil?nakuuuuuuuu